My Life is Mean Girls

I far too frequently liken my life to Mean Girls. Whether this means that I don't know how to relate to real people so I in turn relate to fictional stories, or Mean Girls is just a super accurate film to how girls relate to one another.

I've been going through a lot of stress lately, including but not limited to:

+ family

+ friends

+ my (nonexistent except totally confusing anyway) love life

And stress is a weird thing for me. I get a little snappy when I'm angry, but when I'm stressed-stressed, I just kind of become a turtle and get all like, "bitches, back off" and go inside my shell and don't deal with anyone very well. But I try to be supportive of other people when they get stressed. I'm kind of not really good at sympathy, only because I don't like it when people feel sorry for me, so why would someone want me to feel bad for them? But one of the things I like the least about people is when they are unnecessarily hateful or judgmental and go, "It's not my fault; I'm stressed."

That is not an excuse. It's very similar to another form of "apologizing" that I hate, which is, "I'm sorry you feel that way." Neither is apologizing. I can't stand it when people can't own up to issues. I'm guilty of this too, but I try to not make excuses when I'm an asshole. (I mean, I'm also naturally an asshole so this doesn't come up a lot.) But while I may be going through a lot, and someone is going through more, that does not give them an excuse to attack me.

In turn, I felt near nervous breakdown last night, and after snapping at one of my best friends (and then showing up at his room this morning, nearly in tears -- passing it off as "allergies" -- to apologize), I realized that I just need to remove myself. It's like Lindsay Lohan wisely said, "You need to suck out the poison." I didn't really suck the poison so much as just get rid of it. I went through my contacts and anyone who I just do not have the patience or the heart to deal with, I blocked. I called my mother and told her that even though she was stressed -- about really serious issues, too -- that she still needs to listen to me when I call. I just need someone to listen. I told my best friend(s) from home what was happening and I needed them to be patient.

I sucked out the poison, stitched up the wound, and moved on.

I'm hoping for a brighter week, and then I can hopefully unblock those people and learn how to help them through their stress too.

P.S. I have formspring?